I just realized that both kids have been asleep since 8pm…I cleaned the kitchen and picked up the toys, which is what I used to do every night.  I threw some laundry in to get ready for laundry day (Sunday), and am now on the couch blogging and watching “Bridesmaids.”  This is such a huge milestone for me!  Those few hours after A’s bedtime used to be my time, when I could clean up without feeling like I was ignoring him, and when I could relax with J and hang out just the two of us.  Don’t get me wrong, I love being a mom and after kiddie bedtime I end up looking at pictures of them on my phone and peeking in their rooms, but having even an hour of grown up time at night makes me feel like a whole person, not just a mom if that makes sense.

The first couple of weeks after C was born were tiring and confusing (as I expected).  J, C and I would stumble upstairs at like 8:30pm and I would feed C and then try to figure out where to put him to sleep.  When he would wake up I would be unsure of if I should change his diaper before or after I fed him, I was confused as to why he was grunting, I didn’t know if he wanted to be rocked…I didn’t know him at all and the days and nights blended together.  Now, he is on more of a schedule and sleeps much more easily and is a joy when he is awake.  I know that he likes to be held still almost instead of too much rocking, and that putting him in his crib and laying a hand on his belly comforts him more than patting.  I’m not saying that I have it all figured out, but I do feel like we have turned a bit of a corner.  A is getting used to his role as big brother, C is happy and growing, J is kicking ass all around, and I am getting myself back.  I feel a bit renewed after this glorious hour but it’s 9pm now so I need to go to sleep since yeah, C is still just a newborn 🙂